i love music

by Hi Tiger

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1.
04:42
2.
3.
04:02
4.
02:23
5.
05:11
6.
11:50
7.
03:46
8.
04:44
9.
02:43
10.

credits

released August 5, 2011

Derek Jackson: vocals
Cory McCulloch: bass, guitar, keys
Erica Burkhart: guitar, keys, vocals
Roy Ghim: guitar, keys, ad-hoc instruments
Tony Leighton: percussion

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about

Hi Tiger Portland, Maine

Hi Tiger is a group of performing and visual artists, music producers and instrumentalists. Performances are directed by Derek Jackson (lyrics / vocals) and include fierceness by Nicole Antonette & Amandaconda, with lighting design and sculpture by PSBL. Hi Tiger is currently in collaboration with music producer Taylor Vesey aka SWIM ... more

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Track Name: nukes
“Girl, he is fine...! Get over there, he’s looking right at you!”

Malcolm’s eyes bulged in that queeny way that could totally annoy me or make me laugh so hard I wet my pants.

“Oh chile, please”.

Malcolm rolled his eyes, sat back on his barstool and daintily lit a cigarette. He didn't give a fuck. That’s why I loved him and why, despite the fact I was in no mood, I had agreed to come out with him tonight.

“Girl, you have got to get a life…Don’t you know it’s illegal to cry over men?” Malcolm pretended to write a ticket and hand it to me. Although I’ve always had deep seated hatred for mime, I pretended to rip it up.

“I told you I am not about to rush into anything. I’ve been around enough faggots to know all they want is sex. There is no such thing as love and besides, I don’t want to end up like you.”

I immediately regretted having said it, but couldn’t find the words to apologize. Malcolm just stared at the floor and I knew he was thinking about Roger. They had been together for ten years when Roger died. He had committed suicide when he found out he was HIV positive. Malcolm, diagnosed just a few months later, had vowed to never fall in love again and have as much fun as possible…which included fucking everything in sight.

I reached for his shoulder and was going to say something when Malcolm suddenly jumped off his barstool and squealed “Ooooooh ....! There are few things I can’t resist in this world. At the top of that list is Malcolm when he wants to dance. I knew he was in pain, but he never fully revealed this to me.

On the dancefloor men were bumping and grinding to a techno beat. To DJ Abraxis chanting, “You got to believe in something, why not believe in me.” I lost myself in the dense crush of flesh and sound.

Before I knew it, Malcolm was tugging my arm again, this time towards the coat check. We were about to leave when someone caught Malcolm’s eye. “Finally!”

“Ok sugar, got your keys? Good. Who knows when Momma’s gonna be home so don’t stay up too long and be sure to take those Vicadin if you can’t fall asleep. If Jerry calls tell him it’ll have to be dinner instead of brunch. Muah!”

I sometimes wondered when Malcolm went off with these total strangers what would happen if one of them turned out to be a deranged lunatic. Would he have wanted his last words to me to be more profound?

It took six months for Malcolm to die. The dementia was the hardest part. Watching your friend decay is devastating…but cleaning up the poop that he refers to as his children just makes it surreal. I told myself I wouldn’t go through his things, wouldn’t pack pack his clothes, until it was over. When the day finally came, I found a note in his dresser. It said:

“Hi Tiger, I know you think I’m just a silly queen but even silly queens know when it’s time to be real. So seriously girl…please….
Don’t fall apart
Don’t lose the edge
Don’t lift the weight
Don’t cry for me”
Track Name: pompous pilot
I know where to find
Something better than you
I know where to find
Something greater than two of us
I know where to find
Something I can dream about and still wake up

Something that won’t quit
Something that won’t run
Something that won’t hide
Something better than you
Something greater than two of us

Something better than you…
Oh anything’s better
Track Name: wolves
He said, “When will you learn, wolves don’t howl at the moon, they howl at each other”
He said, “When will you learn, wolves don’t howl at the moon, they howl at each other”

You take away paradise
You fill me with your silly lies
I thought you were searching for new life
But I was just the ground that you walked on
I was just the breeze that kept you cool
I was just an ocean for you to drown
DROWN

He said, “When will you learn, wolves don’t howl at the moon, they howl at each other”
He said, “When will you learn, wolves don’t howl at the moon, they howl at each other”

You said, I can’t be the one to save you
You’ve got to work that out for yourself
But don’t you know what happens
When healthy people leave sick people to die
I know
There’ll be another life

You take away paradise
You drown me in your silly lies
You wrap me in your milky thighs
You pierce me with your pale blue eyes
But maybe I’ll go out tonight
Maybe I’ll go see AOK Suicide Forest
Play metal at some local dive
And when I get home I pray you’ll pass by
Will you pass by
Will you pass by
Will you pass by
Track Name: 20 minutes
20 minutes in the closet and I feel so different
what is this funny feeling
Everything seems new

20 minutes in the closet and I won’t go back
don’t even think about leaving
less I’m leavin with you

so many ways to live
which one do I choose
don’t care which one is right
I just want a life with you

20 minutes in heaven
will they let me in
do those angels say I’m worthy
does that god say I win

20 minutes in hell
oh I feel so sexy
it’s like I’m on fire
and I don’t want to stop burning

20 minutes
20 minutes with you
Track Name: the village
(by New Order)

When a new life turns toward you
And the night becomes a bay
We shall remain forever
Everyone who meets his way

Our love is like the flowers
The rain, the sea, and the hours
Our love is like the flowers
The rain, the sea, and the hours

When the rain falls to the sea
They’ll be waiting for you and for me
And the sky reflects our image
Trying to sleep right through our lives

Oh our love is like the earth
The sun, the trees, and the birth
Oh our love is like the earth
The sun, the trees, and the birth

Well I’m still here three days later
Same place, same time
I am stuck here two years too long
Same place but the wrong time

Our love is like the flowers
The rain, the sea, and the hours
Our love is like the flowers
The sun, the sea, and the hours


Their love died three years ago
Spoken words I cannot show
Track Name: the feed
It’s 3 am in Portland, Maine
The sky is changing
I’m looking for something to eat

I walk to the ocean
Where an older man is cruising the parking lot
He say’s “Nice night…please”
I say it would be nicer if I had something to eat
But not to him I say “Yes Sir!”

He says, “I know why ou came here
I’m looking for the same thing…”
“Oh not you’ve got it all wrong” I say, “I came just to stroll by the sea”
He says, “How old are you…you look like 35…I’ve seen boys like you…already men and still hungry…”
“Oh well, you’ve got that right sir but you’re not who I want”
and as he drove off he says, “be careful son…because the man that you’re lookin g for
is the man that you don’t want to meet…
he’ll have strong strong legs
sky blue eyes
jet black hair
that reflects moonlight
a gentle soul
and angry heart
maybe in another life
he could have been a star
he’ll love you and he’ll leave you
and when years pass by
you will cling to his memory
on a night like tonight…”
Track Name: true love
In the city
People are
Oh, yes they are
Filled and moved by desire
Rah!
I said desire can bring you to your knees
Oh true love
This ain’t the place for you true love
I’ve waited all day for you true love
I even cooked for you
I used my last two fresh eggs for you
Eh true love
What’s that you say true love
Are you on your way true love

Well they say that when you die
You don’t die in love
But I don’t know nothing bout love
Aw you see I lost love
And now there’s me and me
And only me
I’m as lonely as can be
Oh true love
Come back to me
Eh true love
What’s that you say true love
Are you on your way true love

I used to sing about love
I used to laugh about love
And I definitely cried for love
But I never died for love
No I never died for love
I’m still here my love
I’m still here my love
I’m still here my love
I’m still here
Eh true love
Oh true love
What’s that you say true love
Are you on your way true love

Aye!
Aye!
I’m still here
I’m still here
Oh true love
Eh true love
Aye!
Aye!
What’s that you say
What’s that you say
What’s that you say
What’s that you say
Oh true love
Eh true love
Aye!
Aye!
Oh true love
Track Name: hit hard
(by Erica Burkhart)

There is no one not one who screams the loudest
when its you who is down, oh you're low down
you're underground, you know I dug deep but I
came up with only dirty hands, your dirty tricks
run down my legs to be licked and kicked around
and dragged down we all go under, soundless its like
underwater, its like underwater and you can

Ask me if I'm breathing
ask me if I'm breathing
You can ask me if
And I will tell the truth
I can't be you, tell the truth
I can't be you, you're grand
and your dead.

Did you know this was what was coming?
Under the slow humming of the ghosts
the slow panic of their hosts, said they're almost dead
from fear, almost hear the slow moan of waves
of losing one I said man you're losing the one.
Oh, did you know the sun while you were high?
The thrive of heat in your body not yet so lost
in the blue of the underside you know thats no place
to be alive.
If you hit easy you can seize me with your cracking teeth
you know you're still so pretty, underneath
and I can be the shy baby I can be the weight that makes you
tip, I can be the kiss or the split, the kiss in your lips
and I can make my bed in your mouth
make my bed in your mouth
and I can build a life there by putting you out
in the blue of the underside, you know thats no place
and we keep building a new and thicker skin for
our enemies to live in, and then we all turn into them.
We all turn into them.

And you can ask me if I'm breathing,
ask me if I'm breathing, you can ask me if
And I will tell the truth I can't be you
tell the truth I can't be you
You're grand and you're dead.

I'm trying to see through this blue cobalt glass
trying to squeeze through, easy now, flying somehow
hitting some how, the blue asphalt when the color changes
to hit easy you hit hard, oh man you've seized me in the tar.
You're walking slow now you're not comfortable your feet hurt
you move slow now I can see you move easy, do not lose me
in the wake, I said, do not lose me this early.
Oh yes I follow that line around your neck I trace
blue vein to purple stain, this fading and this fades
to other shades your off white blank stares are tranquil fair
but I cannot stay calm. Cuz you hit harder first
and I am more prepared for the end of air, oh now
the end of here.

And you can ask me if I'm breathing
Ask me if I'm breathing, You can ask me if
And I will tell the truth I can't be you
Tell the truth I can't be you
You're grand and your dead

And I can't love you when I love nothing
Man I can't love you when I love nothing.
Track Name: hey dan
Hey Dan
Are you out?

Oh you know it DJ
I am all about it

Hey Dan
Can you play?

Oh you know it DJ
I was born to play

Hey Dan
Wow you sure do have a nice guitar

Oh thanks DJ
When it comes to love there is only this
There is music too…

Hey Dan
I said Hey Dan
Can you move your feet?

You know it DJ
I am dancing!
I don’t care what nobody says
I will move my feet
I will groove to my beat
And when the music stops
You know DJ I will still be dancing!
Track Name: secret life (the heartbreak mix)
One said
Come with me
I’ll take care of you
Worship me
I walk on water
I will show you how the ocean can provide for you
I run the seas
I run the land
I even rule the sky

Other said
Understand, I may be good for you
But I walk alone my friend
You may say that’s no place to be
But I’m all caught up in sin
I got no love for you but you can hold the key
The key to my secret life

I walk the beat
Maybe tomorrow
I walk alone
And if there’s a storm
I will rush right in
You see I am a man of land and sea
And the sky ain’t nothing to me
And if you see me on the street
Oh don’t say my name
Don’t act like we’ve ever been friends